Getting out of the Heat

Hot yoga isn't for me. Two thirds into the class, I had to run out of the room holding in what was tasting like today's sushi lunch. Sometimes, I have grandiose ideas of finding an activity that will bless me with instant weight loss and energy but it appears that I should settle with a consistent 30 minute routine of cardio several days a week. There is one thing I picked up in Shanghai and that was the joy of walking. I sincerely do miss that and try to find ways to walk long distances here in the City when I can.

I couldn't help but compare my yoga session to all the ways I feel emotionally. I'm starting to get very flustered and sick with the back and forth movements of nagging and thoughtlessness. If running out the room was all I needed to find and collect myself, then away I go.

Regrettably, I had to spend a portion of my day feeling very angry. Absolutely gritting my teeth wanting to not feel as annoyed and mad as I was but unable to verbalize what everything exactly means or what is going on. I do know that I am very much through with the same fights and conversations. It's becoming more blatant that I either need to start making new friends so I don't have to tip around toes or saving up money so I can finally get out of here and start anew.

Even if I ended up somewhere alone and unable to make friends, somehow it seems much more ideal than the selfishness and inconsideration of others that I am dealing with.

Something tells me this is going to be a lonesome birthday with neither by my side. But I'll be okay because, really, how else am I supposed to be?