pain

i feel like a cripple and i'm sick, too. both feelings combined have worsened this week's outcome. doctors and medicine don't seem to be helping. the only thing that will work is to actually do nothing. sometimes, dealing with the pain radiating up and down my arms makes me want to cry out of pure frustration and helplessness. then again, i'm fortunate to live in a country where they pay you while you heal instead of kicking you to the curb. these recent developments have only fueled --yet, slightly marred--my desire to move onto the next stage, whatever that is.