Rooftop

I keep expecting something to happen as the hours wind down. In truth, I'm terrified of the approaching

clock striking twelve. We read stories of men dying with pennies to their name and all of sudden, here

I am, with my pockets turned out and as piteous a sight to look upon as any scrappy peddler on the

street. I don't know if I can stay focused long enough on one interest to make something of it, but I

need to make that my goal for this new year in my life for the sake of those around me. There's just so

much tension building up that even my Chiropractic sessions aren't doing the trick anymore. I've

never felt so much dread in my life.

I read online some suggestions on what I can do for fun tomorrow. I may get a $25 foot massage that

includes a "free" back, shoulder, head, and neck massage. It's not Shen Zhen but it might do me some

good. They say I should treat myself--like buy something. I don't know what to buy. I used to shop

whenever I felt sad, but I can't buy myself an iPhone so that's out of the question. Haha. I'm still

thinking of other ideas. Maybe a picnic, Kirby in the backseat of my car, and a drive up to Pacifica

beach could fill my afternoon. Too bad Luna and Sunshine can't come, too.