Amicable

While staying at home combating flu/cold-like symptoms, I decided to break down my financial goals and current bills -- and it wasn't pretty. The only positive is that I'm not in debt --aside from minimal student loans (which is good debt!) -- and that I feel more financially optimistic and aware of what my future may potentially hold; however, all of that hangs on a thread depending on where I intend to move or restart my career. So much to think about and I still really don't know what to say for this 27 year-old version of me.

In other thoughts, I came across this article listing reasons on "how you know you are over your ex" and I would have to say that I'm glad I still love mine as a friend and as a person. The reasons below are a bit...fueled.

1. You haven’t read his horoscope in over a month.
2. You take the most direct route to work instead of driving the long way to check for unfamiliar cars in his driveway.
3. It was his mother’s birthday last week and you didn’t remember until this morning.
4. Your best friend suggests you delete the photo you’ve saved of him in your camera and you don’t even flinch.
5. It’s been three weeks since you “could have sworn” you saw him on the street.
6. You meet someone new at a party and when he asks if you have a boyfriend, you say “no” instead of “I did, but we broke up.”
7. You’ve stopped wondering if he’ll call.
8. You no longer think of that pretty green dress in your closet as “his favorite dress.”
9. You don’t hear from him on your birthday and you’re fine with it.
10. You’ve stopped secretly following him on Twitter.
11. You go on a date and don’t feel the urge to mention your ex once.
12. You no longer compare new guys against the pros and cons of your ex.
13. You find an old T-shirt of his hiding in a drawer and you throw it out. [Or use it as a cleaning rag. More earth-friendly than paper towels!—Editor]
14. You spend a Saturday night at home with Thai take-out and a chick flick and don’t feel the least bit sorry for yourself.
15. You don’t need a list to tell you you’re over the loser already!


I guess if there are some things I'm guilty of, my list might look like this:

1. I still reach for a worn navy blue, Cal hoodie when I change into my pjs
2. I find it easy to still compliment her most admirable qualities in any conversation--kindness, intelligence, hardworking, and her ability to cook!
3. I don't wonder if she'll call, but I know she knows she can if she needs me
4. I don't have to read her horoscope because we know each other like the back of our hands.
5. When I happen to drive by McAllister, I reminisce fondly rather than feel bitterness
6. She's still the first person to wish me "Happy Birthday" every year.


I do wonder, however, what all this means. To accept that what I'm faced with (and what I had wanted) is to remain truly appreciative of our time together and continue moving forward in our separate directions. And, like most people, I'm filled with doubts. I almost feel like I'm not worthy of her again should we ever happen to find our way back together. There were so many things she had wanted me to be and I don't know if I'll ever be good enough by her standards.

If this list could be summed up into one guarantee, you'll know you're over your ex when you sincerely accept that she is in a relationship with someone else and you support her with no selfish motives. Your only concern is for her happiness, which is what I continue to do so everyday I am without her.